Selective Hearing And Other Tricks of The Trade

How is it that my children fail to hear me when I ask them 3 times to pick up their socks and toys, WHILE I'm in the same room with them but THEN when I open a chocolate toffee ice cream bar on the other side of the house they DO hear it and come running!

Hmm...and just when I was about to have their hearing tested again.

And for their information, the reason I put on the Disney dance party Wii game for them and snuck into the other room was so I wouldn't have to share!  I know as a parent you have to say that sharing is fun, but the truth is it's very low on the fun list.  And other than with their kids, adults don't really ever have to share anything.

It's just a shame they "can't hear me" ask them to clear the table or make their beds.  Well two can play that game my friend.  What is that?  You asked me to take you swimming?  I'm sorry I didn't hear you ask that, and now it's too late in the day.  So sad!

And after so many years of parenting...I don't really hear temper tantrums anymore.  It's all background static.  I just go about my business until somehow the chill is put back in children! Ha!

Here is another tool of the trade for parenthood - selective speech.  Never use the word "candy" in mixed company unless you actually have one you are planning on bestowing in the immediate future.  Other forbidden words include toy, bath-time, playground, and oddly enough Santa Claus.  Because maybe they actually think you will make him appear.  *Shrug* And never say "I'm going out" unless you want to take the children with you rightthatverysecond!  You won't make that mistake twice!