A Few Tips About Marriage

I have been married for several years.  And even though I've been married for several years, that does not make me an expert on marriage.  There have been plenty of times I felt like I'd had it up to my eyeballs and would rather live in a cardboard box than with my husband. But we both tried to hold on until we moved on to better times.

Anyway here are a few tips to help you get through those rough patches:

1.  The main thing is to understand that you are 2 different people.  You can't get your nose out of joint when they don't think or act like you.  You may value different things.  You may need different things.  You may expect different things.  That's okay.  Just try to be honest with what you want and respect each others differences.  And you don't NEED to share the same hobbies - that's what he has friends for!

2. Be nice to each other without expecting something in return.  It's a shame that, if we really admit it, we often treat guests better than we treat family.  Every once in a while you've got to just give without expecting anything  - not even a thank you - in return.  Just let the good deed be it's own reward.

3.  Don't keep score.  Yep, you do more and listen better.  But nothing keeps a fight going worse than keeping score.  Just privately know that you are the superior spouse - or say it on your blog - but not to your husband.  God sees!

And trust me, it's not worth it to nag.  (But if you find a way to get your husband to pick up his socks without nagging, email me immediately!)

4.  Don't compare.  While they are dating and trying to impress you, men shower and wear cologne.  They say perdy things.  They buy perdy things.  They wear pants!  But once they are married most men turn into inconsiderate slobs who refuse to part with the remote.  What makes you think your high school boyfriend would've been any different?  Just try to remember the good things about him.  Chances are, none of his faults are good enough reason to remain single and end up eaten by your cat in 40 years.

5.  Say you're sorry.  On the rare occasion when it's not actually his fault, humble yourself a little and admit that it was probably not necessary to use that term to describe his mother or loudly wish you'd married your high school boyfriend.  We all make mistakes and there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, only two imperfect people who learn to forgive again and again.

Every marriage has problems.  Every single one.  I've heard of one person who said they and their husband never fought - not once.  This person later found out her husband was having an affair and soon left her for his mistress.  This person was fooled into thinking that because they never talked about any problems, they didn't exist.  Good marriages involve talking - even when you don't feel like talking about it.  They also involve letting go of grudges and certain expectations.  Try to love your spouse for who they are, not who you wish they were.  You have to admit you probably aren't totally perfect either.

 And remember that you can only change one half of a marriage - and that's what kind of spouse you are, so don't waste time trying to change the wrong half.

Hang in there, because the only way to keep a marriage is to not get divorced, even when you really want to!  Every marriage has bad times and good times.

If You're Looking For A Little Something...

Generally, your husband is not the person you want to ask if something is missing.  Maybe there are some exceptions to the rule, but most husbands don't even know where things are that aren't lost.  They can't help it.  It must be tied to the Y chromosome or something.  It has probably always been that way...

Example?  Okay, here is a snippet from an actual conversation I had with my husband:

DH: Honey, where is the ketchup?

Me:  What?

DH:  (Slightly panicked) Please don't tell me you forgot to buy ketchup!

Me:  No I didn't.  Sheesh it's right there in the fridge.

DH:  Where in the fridge?

Me:  I don't know -  isn't "in the fridge" specific enough for you?  In the door, I think.

DH:  (totally panicked)  No it's noooot!  Where is it??

Me:  Hold on a sec.  I'm sure it's in the fridge good grief.

I then reluctantly stop what I'm doing to get off my tuffet and waltz on over to the fridge only to see - yep there is the ketchup staring me right in the face, in the door where I said it was and not even behind the butter or anything!  Ugh!

DH: Honey?  Where are my glasses?

Me:  You're wearing them.

DH:  Oh my gosh I didn't even feel them!

Me: *Smacking my forehead* 

Yes this actually happened!!  In his defense, they are some pretty lightweight frames.  I wish mine were that light!

Selective Hearing And Other Tricks of The Trade

How is it that my children fail to hear me when I ask them 3 times to pick up their socks and toys, WHILE I'm in the same room with them but THEN when I open a chocolate toffee ice cream bar on the other side of the house they DO hear it and come running!

Hmm...and just when I was about to have their hearing tested again.

And for their information, the reason I put on the Disney dance party Wii game for them and snuck into the other room was so I wouldn't have to share!  I know as a parent you have to say that sharing is fun, but the truth is it's very low on the fun list.  And other than with their kids, adults don't really ever have to share anything.

It's just a shame they "can't hear me" ask them to clear the table or make their beds.  Well two can play that game my friend.  What is that?  You asked me to take you swimming?  I'm sorry I didn't hear you ask that, and now it's too late in the day.  So sad!

And after so many years of parenting...I don't really hear temper tantrums anymore.  It's all background static.  I just go about my business until somehow the chill is put back in children! Ha!

Here is another tool of the trade for parenthood - selective speech.  Never use the word "candy" in mixed company unless you actually have one you are planning on bestowing in the immediate future.  Other forbidden words include toy, bath-time, playground, and oddly enough Santa Claus.  Because maybe they actually think you will make him appear.  *Shrug* And never say "I'm going out" unless you want to take the children with you rightthatverysecond!  You won't make that mistake twice!

Gecko

We found this little guy on our window screen.  He kept saying he could save us a lot on car insurance, but we told him we don't drive.

Jessie Wilcox Smith Public Domain Art

Jessie Wilcox Smith was an extremely talented artist who lived until the 1930s.  She is best known for her children's book illustrations. Though she never had any of her own, she had a deep affinity for "wondering, imaginative children".

Many of her works are in the public domain.  Here are some of my favorites:

From Cinderella

From the 7 Stages of Childhood

From Beauty and the Beast

From At The Back of the North Wind

Snow White and Rose Red

I hope you enjoy these paintings as much as I do.  I've become quite the collector of her work lately!

For more (and better quality) work from this artist see: 
 
and

My Baby

Is cuter than your baby.  She probably poos more too.

LOL Cats

Yes, I am THAT person.  But I do not actually like cat pictures very much.  In fact, I'm not too fond of cats, period.  They make me sneeze.  They scratch up my brand new expensive nylons.  They look ridiculous in fancy bonnets and stare down their nose at you as though you are the pet and they are the master (of the universe).


Worst of all, they can't spell!

The Top 5 Most Annoying Posts On Blogger

I like to read other people's blog posts. But there are 5 types of posts that drive me up the wall. I'm not knocking anyone in particular. We all occasionally spew out this drivel!

 1. 100 dumb facts about me. Yep, we get it. Filling out surveys is fun.  But let's face it, unless it's sawed off fingers or live spiders, nobody cares what topping you like on your salad! 

We also don't care what color of nail polish you like, or what incredibly boring thing you see out your window.  Unless it's a T-Rex, save it for the nightly phone call to your mom.

 2. The day that never ends.  Unfortunately this is the most typical blog post I see.  Why feel the burning need to write about a day in which nothing happened?  10 paragraphs about walking your dog, finding your remote under your butt and eating a sandwich...REALLY?
Even your mom didn't read that one all the way through!

3.  Buy my ugly stuff!  I'm sorry, but get a different hobby.  That decrepit bear with one eye, lame-o drawing or knitted grown-up "slipper sock" is just not happening.  I don't get why you haven't figured this out yet, since you haven't actually sold anything since spandex was in style.  (And honey, spandex ain't been in style for a LONG, LONG time).

4.  Collection of Cliches.  Wow...I never knew that if I only believed in myself and reached for my dreams, I could truly touch the sky!  But now I do, thanks to your oh so original and inspiring post!  I'm going to go follow my heart now...after I'm done laughing.

5.  Why I hate everything.  What is with those crazy h8ers.  They even write about hating things which are ADORABLE, like cats wearing bonnets.  I mean, no one could possibly hate cat pictures, especially not when they involve bonnets! 

And they write these blogs about the top 5 most annoying things when they are like, O.M.G. sooo super annoying themselves!  WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE!


Umm....I think I better step away from the computer quietly now...

Public Domain Works For Your Art

Peter Rabbit and all of Beatrix Potter's books are in the Public Domain.  Some newer versions may contain copyrighted material.

If you are looking for public domain pictures, quotes, text or ideas, you may have a really hard time finding any of these things on the internet.  Most people don't want to tell you this information because they want to use it themselves.

   




That's because public domain works can be used freely in a variety of ways.  You can quote it, copy it, alter it, trace it, color it, make it into a cartoon, poster, t-shirt, or anything else you can think of, and you can sell it.  Because public domain works are not owned by anyone, they can be used commercially without having to pay a licensing fee or get permission from anyone. 

Lewis Carroll's book Alice's Adventures In Wonderland IS in the public domain.  You can use the original art, text and ideas.  You can make up your own Alice in Wonderland or any type of spin-off.  You can NOT, however, use Disney's version in any way - unless you want your pants sued off!

 A lot of people don't realize that Jane Austen's books are all in the public domain.  That means you can quote, use, and spoof Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Emma, and all the others.

This wonderful painting is by Jessie Wilcox Smith

Jessie Wilcox Smith and many other wonderful artists are in the public domain.  I'll post more of her work in the future!

Feel free to save any of these pictures (please save it to your computer and upload first).  I love to use public domain work myself.  I like to alter it and make it my own.  It's inspiring and so much fun!

I Wanna See You Clean That, Baby!

You know what I think is a really sexy sight?

A man with a mop!

 Unfortunately it's a sight rarely seen, especially on commercials.

Why do all the cleaning product commercials star women cleaning and men sitting on their butts reading the newspaper watching them clean? 

Polls have shown that women still, on average, take on most of the housework.  It doesn't matter if she works 50 hours a week and her husband works 10; chances are she will still be the one fixing dinner at the end of the day, and scrubbing the pot too.

 If a woman wants to stay home and clean while her husband works all day, good for her.  But I believe marriage is a partnership, not a master-slave relationship.  So why is it a woman's job to take over all the housework, even if she works all day?? 

 If it's his day off and she's got a baby in one hand and burp rag in the other, why can't he wash a dish without acting like he's parting the red sea?  Why is it totally NO BIG DEAL for a woman to wield a lawnmower, change a tire, organize the tools in the garage and be her husband's personal secretary, and then clean and change diapers?  Her man isn't going to call her a hero for that!
 But if a man cooks a meal or wipes a baby's tush, he is a "hero".

I see this all the time and to be honest it kinda turns my stomach.  I see ladies on Facebook gushing that their unemployed husband who hasn't shaved or changed out of his sweats in 3 weeks actually put the groceries away.  Woop-dee!  Let's give that fella a husband of the year award!  If he did any more than that he might not be considered macho by his friends...he might even be "whipped".  I think I just rolled my eyes so hard it actually hurt!

And don't even get me started on how if a single man steps up and actually RAISES HIS OWN KIDS he is also a "hero" whereas a single mom who does the same is considered lower than a married mom.

I think this is all proof that women are still being discriminated against, why they deserve chocolate with no guilt whatsoever, complete control of the remote after 8pm, and need a REAL man in their lives, a man to whisper those 3 special words in her ear:
"I'll wash that".

(Just for the record...I'm not really talking about my husband here.  He is a great help to me and I to him, though he does look hot holding a mop!  He even makes comments about how awful it is that other dads don't help out more, cause yeah, it's that obvious!)